It sounds like you’re at the beginning of building your performance muscles, which is right on track. Try loosening up the read a bit, consider playing with pacing, pitch, or even reading while walking around to get it into your body.

Nice job! You did pretty good at the beginning but toward the end I could tell you were starting to struggle with the script. That’s okay. Keep practicing and strengthening your stamina. Work on the SOVT exercises for warm-ups and diaphragm breathing. The following feedback may be quite detailed, but sometimes we miss things that others pick up on, so it’s good to see where we can improve next time. Don’t be afraid to practice the homework before recording - or even practice while recording and just send your best take :D. Mistakes happen to everyone - perfectly okay. The more we practice the better we get. 

0:05 read “savings” instead of “saving”  -  be aware of changing words and dropping or adding “s”

0:17 read “alterations” instead of “alteration” -  be aware of changing words and dropping or adding “s”

0:28 “Entrée” was read as “entry”. Be careful about changing the words in the script. :)

0:29 I feel like “no hidden charges” could have been a little more clearly spoken - though I see in your comment that you were dealing with bronchitis - so understandable! (Hope you’re feeling better! :) )

0:30  “purchase” instead of “purchases” - minor word change 

0:33  read “until” instead of “till”

0:38 read “payment” instead of “money”. When reading auditions in general, do pay attention to not changing words in the copy for at least one of your takes. It’s okay to make some changes or play around with the script and include improv, but it’s also important to be able to read copy as written - after all, the writer may have chosen the wording in the script for a particular reason and could possibly be offended at having it changed by someone just hired to voice it - so just bear that in mind. 

0:40 read “until” instead of “while”

0:43, 0:46, 0:58, 1:02, 1:04, 1:22, 1:34, 1:37, 1:45, 1:48 When you misread (happens to everyone and it’s okay!), it’s highly encouraged to start again at the beginning of the sentence or paragraph or a point that would make it easy to remove and replace the mistake during editing. If you just keep going and don’t return to a solid point that makes it easy to edit out the mistake, you may need to come back later and re-record, and it becomes challenging to make it sound the same as the original recording. So, a good rule of thumb is to record so that it’s easy to edit later.

1:03 sounds like “experience” rather than “experienced” - be sure to fully pronounce the words

1:19, 1:46 added word “just”

1:25 read “it’s our way for saying thank you” instead of “it’s our way of saying thank you”

1:33 read “prestiges” instead of “prestige”

1:42 read “styling” instead of “style”

For the purpose of this homework to work on projection, I felt that you did well with it, however, there may be room to do more with projection. Think about the scene of being in a gym or large auditorium with no microphone and you need your voice to be heard in every single corner of the room. Engage with your diaphragm and take in a big, deep breath to fill up your lungs so that you have the power to push your voice out.

It’s totally okay to take a break and step away from the mic if you find you're starting to trip up a lot in the read. Hit the pause on recording and give yourself a moment to recompose and relax and start again when you’re recentered. This happens to professionals in the studio too and it’s totally fine to take a break when you need one. :)

Going at a slower pace will make it easier to get all of the words out. Be sure to work on clearly enunciating and articulating the words and fully pronouncing them so they are clearly understood. Practicing with the cork like Burger showed in class to over articulate the words helps trains the muscles - even without it if you practice being very clear and over enunciate and over articulate, it becomes a tool in your voice acting toolbox to use or not to use as you continue in your voice acting journey!

Keep up the good work! I am confident you will see an improvement by the end of the 6 weeks if you continue to practice and audition -  you might want to come back and listen to this one and see how you’ve grown by the end of class. Flex those skills and they’ll get stronger. Nice work!