I really liked this take! I love the little pre life you added, the laugh! And the scream during the zombie was hilarious! I wouldn't add that for a real audition of course, but for the homework it definitely made me laugh.

I feel like your tone is a bit static, especially in the beginning, and mostly throughout. It's giving me a reporter type of tone more than the "come try this!" type if that makes sense. Play around more with the emotions that you want to convey and how you want your audience to feel and respond. You got a really good start here, but if we can get that more natural excitement thrown in, it'll be really nice! Think of emphasis, volume, pacing, pause, etc.

Your words were nice and clear so articulation was pretty nice! You did a great job!