I can tell you're having fun with this which is awesome and I like the little touches you added like the dragging of the Z's in buzz, and the quick for yourself! I can hear the emotional changes in your tone but I can also hear the hesitance like you don't know what words are coming next. This happens with cold reads so I suggest reading over the script a few times just so you can get familiar with everything. When you are familiar, this helps with nerves and gives you that confidence to focus more on acting and not reading. There are some big pauses throughout so let's try to squeeze those in a little more to make it have a better flow and less choppy.

I like that you got bigger with the zombie voice, but really play around here! I wanna see your creativity and see how you can make this more unique versus the others!

There are some words that are a bit harder to understand so really make sure that you are articulating the whole time! It happens especially when your voice changes into those emotional moments, so keep the same energy and emotion but make sure those words are nice and clear for the audience. Overall, this was a really fun take so nice job!