It sounds like you have an effect on your audio here like some sort of echo effect. Not sure if that's the case or not but for homeworks try to avoid any effects like these so we can hear your raw audio and how you sound naturally. (If this is your actual room, then I would try to get something to help treat the sound. You can even throw a blanket over yourself and the microphone just to deflect a little.)

I want to hear a bit more articulation with your words. There were quite a few moments where your words were starting to get jumbled together, so make sure you make each part of each word recognizable so that there's no confusion from the audience. If you need to go a bit slower, especially for this week, then that's fine! We wanna hear that articulation and then over time it'll get easier and you'll be able to do it at a more natural pace.

There was some hesitation going on as if you didn't know what to say next, so remember you can read over the script beforehand a few times so that you can get more familiar with it. The illusion we want to give is that we know exactly what we're talking about and going to say next to make it as real as possible.

For the zombie character, really play around here! Don't be afraid to go over the top or get goofy with it. Keep up the good work!