Walter (News Anchor, Walter Cronkite-esque)

…and a very good evening, ladies and gentlemen on this Memorial Day Weekend. Tonight: swelling protests have broken out in Toronto and Quebec City as the 3rd anniversary of the annexation of Canada approaches.

The Bureau of Alcohol, Drugs, Tobacco, Firearms and Lasers closes in on the kingpin behind the illegal arms smuggling rings that have popped up coast to coast.

Let’s get aboard a Chryslus with Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the latter of whom is on a phone call with a neighbor sharing some thrilling news.