Great breath control, and your annunciation was excellent. Good job!

I like that you took your time controlling your breath and how much you can say with it, you're doing pretty good job trying to handle how much air you let out as you narrate! In terms of what you can improve, I'd say be careful with your delivery sounding a little like you're singing it. If you'll notice, some of the lines you read sound a little similar, as if there's a pattern of musical notes you're following. Also, since there is a lot of enumeration going on, make sure to add diferent nuances to each listed item in order to make your narration not sound like it's going on only one track. Nice work, Emmy!

Let's tighten up pronunciation, especially toward the beginning of the read, as some words slur together. Make sure to articulate clearly from the start so that the listener can fully understand every word.

There also doesn’t seem to be a real connection to the script. Right now, it sounds like you’re just reading rather than truly engaging with the material. To improve this, think about something you’re genuinely excited about and bring that energy into your performance. The more emotionally connected you are, the more natural and engaging your delivery will feel.

Maintain that energy all the way through. Right now, it fades in certain spots, making the read feel inconsistent. Try to keep the same enthusiasm, pace, and presence from start to finish to keep the audience engaged.

Pronunciation does improve as you get further into the script, but I can hear that you’re running out of breath at times. Keep working on vocal exercises, especially breath support techniques like doggy pants. Strengthening your diaphragmatic control will help you sustain breath longer so that you can deliver a strong and steady read without losing air.

With better articulation, breath control, and consistent energy, your read will feel much stronger and more natural. Keep at it!