Also, because I forced myself into a corner with how I did the take, I lost a lot of what I feel makes my voice shine.

I hate leaving feedback to people, but the bosses said so. Like you said, I would never try to do this in one take, although I remember watching George Carlin do this on HBO when I was younger.

I like you projection and you have a voice that I would think sounds like an announcer. I like your emphasis on certain words meant to draw people in. I had the same issue where fatigue definitely set in, and I got quieter at the end.

Let’s talk about the difference between speaking from your diaphragm and yelling. Yelling comes from the throat, which can cause strain and lead to a harsher tone, while proper projection comes from the gut, using diaphragmatic support to give your voice power without tension. Right now, the projection leans a little too much toward yelling, so focus on breathing deeply and engaging your diaphragm to create a full, resonant sound rather than just increasing volume from the throat. You actually did more of this towards the end of your read just project a little bit more to really sell the setting.

That being said, you maintain great energy at the beginning, which helps draw the listener in. However, as the read progresses, it starts to feel stilted and repetitive, particularly when listing things. The delivery becomes predictable, which can make it less engaging. Try adding more variation in tone, pacing, and emphasis to break up the pattern and keep the read dynamic. Instead of falling into a rhythm, think about how you naturally list things in conversation—some items might have more weight or excitement than others.

One thing I really liked was your recovery after the flub. You were able to pick yourself back up and keep going, which is an excellent trait to have. Many people lose focus or even shift into a completely different energy after a mistake, but you managed to stay consistent, which shows strong control over your performance.

Try to maintain that energy all the way through, as there’s a slight dip in enthusiasm toward the later parts of the read. Keeping the same level of engagement from start to finish will help hold the audience’s attention and make the delivery feel more consistent.

Your pronunciation is strong, and your breath control is solid, especially in handling long-winded sentences. You don’t sound like you’re struggling for air, which means you’re already using breath efficiently—great job on that!

Now, the key improvements to focus on are refining projection to come from the diaphragm rather than the throat, adding more variety to avoid a repetitive rhythm, and sustaining energy all the way through. With these adjustments, your read will feel even stronger and more natural. Keep up the great work!