Wow the baritone rumble in the beginning was my part! It really felt grounding! I would dive more into that if I were you. Who knows maybe you can replace the Allstate- guy soon :) I could definitely imagine hearing your voice on the radio while driving to work or even on tv. Awesome job!

I want you to work on your breath control, as it’s something that could really help strengthen your delivery. You can improve this by consistently practicing vocal exercises, especially ones that focus on diaphragmatic breathing. Taking deep, supported breaths before big statements will help maintain power and control throughout your performance, preventing moments where you might run out of air or lose energy mid-sentence. Right now, I can hear that you’re trying to change things up, which is great, but those choices don’t always stick for long. Try committing more fully to the emotional or tonal shifts you introduce so that they feel more deliberate and natural.

Another key area to work on is projection. While I can hear you, your current volume doesn’t fully match the setting. Remember, you’re in a gym full of people without a microphone—your delivery needs to match the scale of that environment to feel believable. Right now, it sounds like you’re speaking in a smaller space, rather than projecting to reach a large crowd. Using more breath support and engaging your diaphragm will help give your voice the power and resonance it needs without sounding forced.

That being said, there are a lot of things I do like about this read. Your change-ups keep the performance engaging, and you maintain good pronunciation and enunciation throughout, which makes your delivery clear and easy to understand. These are great fundamentals that you can continue to build upon.

By focusing on breath control, projection, and committing to your performance choices, your read will feel stronger, more controlled, and more dynamic. Keep at it—you’re making great progress!