First off, you voice, mwah! I could 100% hear you in commercials. I love how you kept going when you stumbled a little bit and resetted yourself and CAME BACK WITH A VENGENCE at "Come on in, Come on in..." Great performance! There really isn't much criticism to give honestly. Fantastic job!!!

Great smile at the beginning! I can tell that you genuinely care about the product, and that warmth makes the read feel much more engaging. A smile is a great tool in voiceover, and you’re using it effectively to bring energy and friendliness into the performance.

That being said, projection could use some work—right now, it feels like it’s sitting at about a 5, but considering the scene takes place in a gym without a microphone, you’ll want to increase that to at least an 8 to make the delivery feel believable. Think about how you’d speak if you were trying to reach someone on the other side of the gym without shouting. Engaging your diaphragm and taking deep, supported breaths will help you project without straining your voice.

Your tone is friendly and inviting, which works well for this read. One thing I really appreciate is how well you recover from flubs—it’s great to see that you don’t lose energy after those slight hiccups. Many people let mistakes throw off their entire delivery, but you keep the momentum going, which is an important skill. There isn’t much of a break in the tone shift when flubs happen, which makes the performance feel smooth and natural.

However, I did notice that your stamina gets challenged toward the middle of the read. There’s a moment where you hype yourself up, which helps bring the energy back, but ideally, you want to maintain that energy consistently from start to finish. This might be a sign that breath control needs more support. Practicing stamina-building exercises (like longer reads at full projection) will help you sustain energy throughout without needing to "reset" mid-read.

Pronunciation and enunciation are very clear, which is great! Your articulation makes the message easy to understand, so keep that up.

One final note: the smile fades quite a bit toward the end, but there are still hints of it here and there. Try to keep that energy and warmth consistent all the way through, even in moments when you’re focusing more on projection or breath control. Smiling isn’t just about sounding happy—it keeps the delivery feeling engaging and connected to the audience.

Overall, this was a solid read! Focus on projection, stamina, and maintaining that smile through to the end, and your performance will feel even stronger and more dynamic. Great job!