So first, I want you to really slow down here. It was pretty hard to understand your words, so the articulation was really missing here. You want to really make sure that your audience isn't struggling with what you're saying. You also tend to keep moving back and forth towards the mic, as if you're moving your head down to read the script, then saying a little, then moving again to read more, so its giving that "Im reading from a script" tone. You want to show that you are confident in your words and you know exactly what you're saying. Remember that anyone can read a script and record it, but to stand you you have to show that you ARE the character. As for the zombie noise, really become the zombie. Make it super fun!Focus on working on your articulation and mic technique, and continue with your exercises. You're gonna see so much improvement the more you practice and do auditions, so I know you got this! Can;t wait to hear more!