Unfortunately, your audio is only coming out through the left and your audio is extremely low so its pretty hard to hear, even when I have you cranked up at full volume. You may want to check your audio settings. Im going to try my best to give some feedback with what I can hear.

So I notice that you have a flat pattern and tone going on. You;re basically stay at the same energy level, same pitch most of the time. There's lots of ways you can make the take more dynamic. You can bring super high energy and change up pacing, emphasis, emotions, etc. Whatever you feel in the moment! I'd love to hear more of the zombie as it went super quick. Really make that customer give their opinion on the drink! Also, dont forget to add your tongue twisters in! There were a few parts that needed a bit more articulation, but for the most part it was still a little hard for me to fully hear word for word. Continue working hard and doing your best!