Your pacing is a bit quick, so try to slow down slightly so that it doesn't feel super rushed and you don't lose out on your articulation. This also affects your breathing. I can hear you having to take micro breaths throughout sentences because you're running out of breath quicker, which can be from not taking a deep enough breath with your diaphragm and the faster pace making you lose air faster. The big thing I want you to do is find spots that make sense and well to take a pause and use that time to take a super big breath in so you have a lot more air to use. You want to have a nice flow in your performance. I liked the "come on in..." section with the changes in inflection to give it a more friendly tone!Another thing that happens when you don't have enough air is missing the projection! We want your performance to fit the scenario given which is being in a gym with no mic and you need people to hear you from the other end of the room. Keep working on your breathing exercises and sovt warmups to build those muscles and keep practicing reading aloud everyday. You'll see an improvement as the weeks go by! Good work!