“Welcome home. I’m gonna make you wish that you stayed gone. Say hello to a new status quo. Everyone knows that there’s a brand new dawn. Turn the tv on!” -Stayed Gone

“Top of the hour, and we're discussing a certain has-been Who has been spotted cavorting around town (welcome to the show) After a seven-year absence Did anybody miss him? (Welcome to the show) Did anybody notice? More on tonight's program So, the radio demon is back in town Why is he hanging around? What does that mean for your family? Well handily, I've got good news He's a loser, a fossil and I don't mean to sound hostile But the demon is a coward! You can take that as gospel Pulling my viewers? Impossible! I'm visual, he's barely audible Stop givin' him the time of day Don't listen to a word he'd say I hope he had a nice vacay But he should've stayed away!” -Stayed Gone

“After the battle, masterless cattle! Overlords hanging by a thread. With a bit of bravado, maybe tomorrow we’ll be at the top of the heap. (While the rest of Hell’s pissing,) Alastor’s missing! Fled with his tail between his legs. Nature uproars a power vacuum that leaves room for you and me. The future of hell belongs to the V’s! *maniacal laughter*” -The Show Must Go On