Goooooood morning, frogs. You, the uninitiated of the Samwell Hockey Team, have the distinct and unparalleled honour of entering, for the very first time, our humble abode: The Haus.

The decisions you will make in this house will be regretful but glorious. The alcohol you will drink will be cheap, but plentiful. And the loss of virginity you may experience within these walls will range from reassuring to emotionally damaging.

And for the love of Christ, try to remember the layout of the Haus for Haze-a-palooza. You'll need to know it naked, blindfolded, and bitch-ass shitfaced.