(read the here have a smoke really quick and a little quieter than the rest)Shikamaru, sometimes, you just gotta be a man and do stuff you don't want to do -Here have a smoke.
Choji, one day, you're going to have to face the facts and get fit -Here have a smoke. 
Ino, you're going to be a beautiful woman that'll make a guy very happy, and you have an amazing voice, cherish that voice -Here have a smoke.

I am going to be a great father one day, it makes me so happy and proud to finally haveohshitwait ahhhhh dammmit. I dropped a pack in the water again, son of a bitch.

SECOND HAND LUNG CANCER NO JUTSU!