I'd recommend doing some light post processing on the audio (shorten down the pauses between the takes), other than that you sound good.

Your voice is definitely more fitting sound wise than mine, but not really tone wise if you'd ask me, I personally went with a less emotive tone for Ben since he struck me as a more uninterested rather than angry, he can still be cold without raising his voice, additionally it makes the "many girls like him" part sound more logical and grounded since it's easier to like someone who is less emotive rather than someone who sounds like he's about to knock you out with a left hook, but that's just how I see Ben form the little information that we have.