It's great that you're infusing your voice work with excitement, especially when delivering onomatopoeias, which can really level up a read. However, it sounds like there are a few areas that need attention to make your performance even stronger.

Firstly, ensuring proper pronunciation is crucial, especially for terms like "Fancy Fenny’s Factory." Remember that's the name of the sponsor; Mispronunciations can detract from your credibility and distract your audience. Spending more time with the script before recording can help mitigate these issues. Read through multiple times, speak the words out loud, and familiarize yourself with any phrases or names that are unfamiliar or tricky.

Additionally, while your voice conveys enthusiasm, remember that voice acting is not just about the voice quality but also about bringing the character and narrative to life through your acting. If you find yourself struggling with the script during recording, it may disrupt your ability to fully inhabit the character and convey the intended emotions and dynamics of the scene.

If necessary, slow down your pace. This doesn't just help with clarity and pronunciation; it also gives you more space to act, to think about the emotions and intentions behind each line, and to ensure your performance is engaging and authentic.

Overall, keep practicing with a focus on script familiarity and pronunciation. Combine this with your natural excitement and acting skills to fully realize the potential of your performances. This comprehensive approach will enhance your delivery and ensure your audience is both entertained and captivated.