It sounds like you're on the right track with your pacing and variation, which are key elements in keeping the delivery engaging. However, the projection could be improved to ensure your voice carries well and reaches the entire audience. Focusing on taking fuller breaths before launching into new sentences will not only help with increasing your projection but also prevent you from running out of breath mid-sentence. This will enable a more stable and powerful delivery throughout your performance.

Your articulation is generally good, but there are spots that could be clearer. Paying closer attention to those particular areas where clarity drops off a bit will enhance the overall intelligibility of your speech. This is especially important in professional settings where every word needs to be understood clearly by the audience.

Overall, continue practicing your breathing techniques to support stronger projection, and keep refining your articulation for those few challenging spots. With these adjustments, your voiceovers will likely become more polished and impactful.