Your delivery could benefit from a bit more warmth, so try incorporating a bigger smile as you speak; this often helps the tone feel more inviting and positive. Additionally, your projection needs to be stronger—imagine you're in a gymnasium without a working microphone, and you need to ensure everyone can hear you clearly. Work on projecting your voice to reach the farthest corners of the room.

Be mindful of your pronunciation and enunciation as there's some slurring of words occurring. Clear articulation is key to maintaining professional audio quality and ensuring your message is understood. The flow of your read also feels a bit stilted at times; aim for smoother transitions between phrases to make your delivery more fluid.

You're doing well with breath control, especially notable during longer sentences where you manage to speak clearly and take breaths at appropriate times. This is a great foundation to build upon. By focusing on these areas—smiling more, projecting your voice, articulating clearly, and smoothing out your delivery—you'll enhance your overall performance significantly.