Your energy and projection are decent, providing a solid foundation for your performance. However, there's definitely room to amp up both to truly captivate your audience. While you've made a good start, the main issue seems to be the pace of your delivery—it's simply too fast. This rapid tempo might be affecting your breath control, which starts off strong but shows signs of fatigue as you progress. This results in you running out of breath towards the end of sentences, disrupting the overall pacing.

Your pronunciation is commendable initially but, like your breath control, it suffers as you become fatigued. This suggests that you might be losing your place in the script, which contributes to the uneven delivery. Slowing down your pace from the beginning can help maintain steadier breath control and clearer pronunciation throughout. A more measured speed will allow you to manage your breath more effectively and keep track of your position in the script, leading to a smoother, more polished performance.