I liked the variation you put into the pitch and energy - it kept my attention focused and made it interesting to listen to. A few of the words lost a little bit of articulation here and there, but the high energy really carried the performance. Great job!

It seems like you're rushing through the script a bit, especially when listing the benefits. This can make the delivery sound monotonous and drone on a bit. Let's work on slowing down and adding some variation in your pacing to give the script room to breathe. Introducing pauses at strategic points can also help your audience follow along more easily and fully grasp the content.

Projection is another area we can focus on. It feels like you're not projecting your voice enough, which can affect clarity and comprehension. Take a moment to ensure your voice fills the space and reaches your audience effectively.

Your pronunciation and articulation could use a bit of refinement too. Some words aren't coming through as clearly as they should, leading to misunderstandings. For example, "Send No Money" might sound like "Send me no money." Slowing down and focusing on articulating each word can help improve clarity.

Ultimately, try to approach the script more conversationally, as if you're talking to someone you know rather than simply reading lines. This will help infuse your delivery with authenticity and engagement, making it easier for your audience to connect with the message. Keep practicing and don't get discouraged—small adjustments can lead to significant improvements over time.