And in other news. Multiple shits were fired in the Shiba Inu area before dawn this morning. The area was littered with numerous bum holes. And, abandoned bicycle hit multiple times with bull semen found at the scene of the crime--- next to a pile of caps in someone's ass.

Police believe it's related to the shooting of cum on Tokyo Tower last night, and they're not doing a damn thing about it. The local popo are also investigating possible links between this incidents and recent string of late night incestuous public raping and men with a very particular set of skills. Although, the exact major the connection remains unclear---

Moving on then, a minor  earthquake had registered in the Kanto region, at approximately 2:69 -- wait that can't be right… I mean 6:20 this morning.  A local professor’s laboratory suffered heavy losses of animals over the weekend, as he was planning to hand them out to 10-year-olds to train for fighting a-la Micheal Vic dog-fighting.  Police arrested the professor for not including them on the potential profits… and for not partaking in incest of some kind...