I don't want help! I don't want to be the damsel in distress! I want to be the hero! I'm tired of being the lovable idiot, stuck in the tree while his friends fight for their lives! Don't you understand? If I can't do this on my own... Then what good am I?

Ridiculous! There's no way I put my gear in locker 636 yesterday! I would have remembered having to count that high...

(A series of grunts and efforts/fighting noises)