You speak too fast for the direction of the lines, particularly the last one. Line 1: The marine isn't yelling. He's witnessing something so absurd that he actually cannot believe it. The delivery should be more like him having the realization that what he's perceiving is real. A little more matter-of-fact than loud anger. Line 2: It seems like you trip up a bit at "Raynor ok'd". The marine is disgruntled in that he feels his time could be better spent doing other things, so he should come across as dismissive with a slight amount of resentment. Line 3: It can be hard to imagine yourself in the marine's situation, since the setting is so far into the future, but he's in a vulnerable ship and just heard a different one explode. There's panic, and then a search for information when he asks the pilot his question. There must be a delay before the question is asked, either with a quick 'Aw, shit!' and then a short pause, or a more long, drawn out 'Aw, shit!' before taking a quick breath to belt out the question. It looks like I may have found the guy for the job elsewhere but feel free to submit a second audition if you like. And sorry about the formatting, apparently you can't format these so it just came out like one big unreadable paragraph.