Your take provides a solid foundation with clear pronunciation, which is always crucial in any performance. However, to elevate your reading from good to great, focusing on the pacing and energy dynamics can make a significant difference. The story you're telling is a journey, not just for the character but also for your audience, and varying your pacing and energy can make that journey truly come to life.

When the script describes Peter as depressed, your voice can become a powerful tool to convey that emotion. Slow down your pace a bit, soften your tone, and allow a touch of melancholy to seep into your delivery. This change in your voice helps your audience feel Peter's struggle, creating a more immersive and emotionally resonant experience.

Conversely, when Peter finds his motivation and energy, let your own voice mirror that transformation. Speed up your pace slightly, brighten your tone, and infuse your delivery with an infectious enthusiasm. These shifts not only add depth to your character portrayal but also keep your audience engaged, eager to follow along with Peter's journey.

Remember, being conversational and storytelling are two sides of the same coin. A conversational tone makes your performance relatable and engaging, while effective storytelling requires you to convey the emotional arc of the narrative. By introducing more variation in your pacing and energy, you're not just reading the script; you're breathing life into it, creating a performance that's not only heard but also felt.

Focus on these changes, and you'll be well on your way to achieving the two fundamental goals of a beginning voice actor. With practice and attention to these nuances, your performances will become more dynamic, more engaging, and more impactful. Keep up the great work!