For your information there's a lot more to ogres than people think. Ogres are like onions. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers! You get it? We both have layers!

I live in a swamp. I put up signs! I'm a terrifying ogre! What do I have to do to get a little PRIVACY? What are you doing in my swamp?!

Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love’s first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon’s keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love and true love’s first kiss… like that’s ever gonna happen. What a load of…