Make sure to articulate every word in the script. In one instance, the word "Berret" sounded more like "Berray," so be mindful of that and ensure accurate pronunciation. Adding more energy to your performance will greatly enhance it. While the current read is interesting, it still sounds a bit too much like a "script" rather than a fully immersive performance. Don't hold back! Feel free to go all out and unleash your full potential with this script. More projection will also help to address any moments of mumbling. Your articulation is pretty decent, so keep focusing on that aspect. Overall, I encourage you to excite me even more! Don't be afraid to fully engage with the material and explore ways to take the tone further. This script has great potential, and with added energy, projection, and emphasis, you can create a truly captivating performance. Keep pushing your boundaries and let your passion shine through!