Look, I know I'm a hot smokin' piece of white meat, but I'd like to keep the relationship as dry as Kentucky's fried chicken. Not what you're looking for? Too bad. 'Cuz same.

You have no idea how hard it is for an asexual to find love.

Thank goodness that's over with. One more second of watching you flail and calling it dancing was going to get me admitted to a psych ward.