Hey Para thank you for caring and expressing as I can tell you gave up some real emotion here.. You made some great choices but you are almost over pushing them. You had some nice moments LOVED when you said, Why Cause you're scared. But then you have lots of moments where you are just trying to add emotion but it's coming across as Forceful - so GREAT choices, but don't PUSH them on us - you don't need to prove them to us. You are already emotional and genuine in that so when you try to SHOW them to me, then they come across less organic. You had some GREAT choices in here, but just know you don't have to show them as much - you sound more organic when you are less is more in this scene. We will learn some techniques that will really increase you game - you're in good hands