Hey Lager - Thank you for your passion. You're giving so much in the beginning especially and it borders on BEGGING - which is fine in moments but it comes across throughout - When you push on some of the words, it's agressive and almost monster like or character like. Over time you're going to learn to be able to pull off all these beautiful emotions you are sharing (thank you for that) but it won't come across as forced. When you start tearing up - it starts off really nice and I completely appreciated you will go for it, and you closed nice, so there were some really nice moments in it, but you can be just as powerful (if not more) if you just give a taste of it. That you're trying to hold back the tears while speaking to her. And I would also add - are you leaving room for them to talk back or react to what you are saying? Try to remember, even if it's written as a monologue, doesn't mean it doesn't involve more than one person in the scene. You're passionate and not afraid to express emotion - that is fantastic. Over time you will learn how to channel it so it comes off exactly as you intend