Hey Jordan - love your character for this - you have some really great moments and don't sound like you're reading, but he yells/whines a bit so i would just give him a bit more dimension and sometimes when you're going a bit fast you slur so watch that - but love how organic you feel. Your passionate as well - this guy has an underlying anger throughout - and while that's a fine choice, anger throughout doesn't usually draw people in - so you want to pick MOMENTS of that anger and more moments of vulnerability - however you bring the words to life nicely for the most part - so a nice start. Looking forward to more from you.