If we can get a picture of Jennifer Aniston’s thong, then we can certainly get a picture of this weirdo put on the front page “Cash Money for a picture of Insect-Man!" He doesn't wanna be famous? Then I'll make him infamous!" He has the seediness of a pimp and the delivery of someone who knows how corrupt he is.

Stop the presses! Send my wife some flowers and bring me an advil! What do you mean you don't work for me? You're hired! Now that you're hired, you're fired! Now that you don't work here, we can be friends! Now that we're friends, how come you never call? Some friend you are! God I love this business!

I want articles about Spider-Man, and when I mean articles about Spider-Man I mean *poems* about Spider-Man. And I want them finished before you start. And before you finish, get me some coffee! And the poems should have the following rhyme scheme: A-B-B-A-A-B-B-A-C-D-E-C-D-E. What are you waiting for, Chinese New Year?