(Motherly) "Here, take this as a token of my love and appreciation for you. *hands a condom* Make sure you use it to give me my wish of no more grandbabies."

(Doubting, light-hearted) "I found a recipe on Facebook with a bunch of infusion ideas…they were said to be good for babies, but I just hope it tastes okay altogether."

(Unsympathetic) "It's a shame that the rotten apple didn't fall far from the tree."