Midnight Pals: The Tale of Dracula
Unjust Guardian for Jonathan Harker
Guest co-lead (25 lines). An English city gentleman sent to Romania to broker a property deal with a certain Count Dracula... inexplicably cast as Keanu Reeves. Played as an impression of Keanu as Ted "Theodore" Logan (of Bill and Ted) and similar roles, a stoner surfer bro himbo.
- english
- male young adult
- male adult
- surfer dude
- american (west coast)
- californian
[MEETING DRACULA FOR THE FIRST TIME] Whoa, Dracula, dude. I’m, like, Jonathan Harker from London. I heard you, like, wanted to buy some totally tubular real estate.
[TALKING ABOUT HIS IMPRISONMENT IN DRACULA'S CASTLE] Oh it was, like, most egregiously harrowing, man. I kept being woken up at night by these three weird totally hot babes. I was *most* harrowed.
[EXPLAINING HOW HE ESCAPED THE VAMPIRE'S CASTLE] Yeah, it was no big deal once I realized that all I had to do was jump up and press right to go to the marble gallery, then go through the blue door and step on the floor switch until it clicked. And most triumphantly, I learned from Dr. Acula’s harem of he/him lesbian wives that he means to return to his ancestral home back in Transylvania.
