Hey but you are improving though, Still some of your breaths felt oddly placed to me, as if they are unplanned and in the middle of a phrase or to, but it wasn't common and is more of a nitpick. Something to keep in mind either way! For the "sound effects" portion around 48 seconds in, I'd love to hear way more power and energy from you. I feel like you can give me so much more than what you actually gave me. Give me a big laugh when you say denied, so as an overall recommendation, give me MORE BOMBASTIC energy! More passion! More excitement! So the more you can mix that up and draw us even further into the commentary, the better. Overall, great stuff, keep it up!