Hi! This was a nice read. I definitely hear the changes in rhythm that you wrote about and even though it sounds like a commercial, it doesn't sound too forced or fake. One note I have for improvement is that when the goal is to sell or promote something, make sure that it's very clear what it's called and where to get it. The part of your read that stands out to me the most is the retro music video dance party because you drew out that line and gave it a different rhythm. To keep the focus on what this event is, I'd shift some of that emphasis to the name of the event and when/where it is.

Good job with the read! It feels a lot like an ad you'd hear on NPR or something similar. However, I do think it needs more energy. The start is good, but the low energy in the middle and end doesn't exactly entice the listener to want to go. You're correct in that you shouldn't go to far with it, it's just a tricky balance to nail.

Hi magellanator, Overall, a well read spot! I’m with you as I’m not sure how much energy is needed, but as latenightoj mentioned, one needs to try & zero in on where the emphasis should be made - definitely a balancing act. Although I too liked the spin on the “retro music dance…” phrase - to me, it came off as slightly DJ’ish? On the technical side, I’d be careful to edit out/replace the tops and tails - it sounds like a squeaky chair is coming through on your audio. This could be replaced with room tone. Also, check the length of time it took before your read started playing - it should start fairly quickly, maybe a half second.

That was a very smooth read you have here. Perhaps you be a little louder and a bit more energized.

great notes- thanks for caring about that. You had a really nice playful natural energy on this so I loved that. Good job breaking a bit of the rhythm. I think you made some great choices - even when it was over the top a bit - it was still a great choice. You're going to grow quickly I can tell. As we learn more about permissions you'll have even more things to add and you will feel really good about your work - I'm glad you were pretty happy with this one. I think you're on the right track here. Good work. Nice smile in the voice and some great choices