"Citizens of Opportunity! You represent the beginning of a grand adventure. Opportunity is only the FIRST Hyperion city on Pandora. One day you'll be saying, "Bandits? What's a bandit? I can't hear what you're saying over the motor of this free blowjob machine Handsome Jack gave all of us."

“Ol’ balloon-tits is still holding a grudge against me, huh? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I get it: once you’ve eaten prime rib for free, it’s hard to go back to suckin’ down hamburgers for cash. If you know what I’m talking about. Do you know what I’m talking about? *beat* Dicks! I’m talkin’ about dicks!”

"I can't just have some psychopathic murderers getting to the vault beforeI do. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's cute that you all think you're the heroes of this little adventure, but you're not. I'm the damn hero."