As the newly-licenced Las Vegas Minister Conor O’Connor re-read the cue-cards handed to him by the strange Yorkshireman, he considered if this was the profession for him. The pair stood before the chapel’s alter and O’Connor gestured to what the Yorkshireman was holding. It was oval, covered by a yellowed bridal veil. Something stirred inside it. 

“Read t’cards,” said the Yorkshireman. “Start w’(1).” 

O’Connor shuffled through the cards, finding (1) and paused. He was dressed in his ceremonial golden 3-piece suit, the Yorkshire man had donned a tweed cap, chequered sweater, and corduroy trousers and a pipe. “I understand this is Vegas, but there’s a limit.” 

The Yorkshireman stared O’Connor down, chewed hard on his pipe and adjusted his cap. “I’ve come ere, t’Vegas, t’renew our vows, what’s t’problem?” The Yorkshireman’s accent was thick. O’Connor struggled to follow, but that wasn’t the main issue. 

“But a bird?” 

“Aye, this ere bird”. The Yorkshireman pulled away the veil, revealing the Lyrebird in the cage: brown like a pheasant, wings curved, rufous in colour and the bill, legs and feet were black. 

“Sir, with respect…” O’Connor began, “I don’t think –” 

“Yer’ve got yer money, do this, please.” O’Connor looked at the Lyrebird with curiosity and sympathy. He shared the bird’s sense of being trapped. 

“This ere bird, copies any noise it ‘ears. Trained it t’copy wife’s voice. Spent fifty-years recording ‘er with camera, spent last three training Vanessa. Vanessa, t’real wife, died, four year ago. Promised ‘er one day, we’d renew our vows in Vegas. Cancer took ‘er before we had chance.”

 The Yorkshireman’s eyes started to well up, the pain still raw. “Respect our marriage, please. I just want t’pretend that’s she still ere with me, to renew ‘er vows with me, please.” 

There was a pause as O’Connor attempted to take in all that he had just heard. “Okay.” 

“Now, those cards I handed t’yer, it’ll answer if yer read out t’cards as I wrote them, yer understand?”. The Yorkshireman brought the Lyrebird to eye-level. “Hello Vanessa” he said with old love in his eyes. 

“HeLlO wALtEr.” Replied Vanessa.