I'm liking your audition bc your comment made me smirk, lol. Now.... Get rid of the fan(or move your mic farther from your device). Throw more energy into the lines, the 1st line and others are in Caps, (so at least raise you voice if you don't want to yell). The pauses in your audition made it seem like you didn't really know what you were reading(memorization and good flow will make your performance sound natural.) If you take what I've said into consideration, you'll be surprised at how many auditions you land. Good luck!