Well, let's just see what the distinguished competition has for their headline this morning... 

Huh. And let's see, what did the Journal run this morning? And...what, pray tell did the Daily Bugle decide to run this morning? Some fat cat's house catches on fire. It's a crap story.. A Crap story and we didn't even have any decent art to go with it. So, my question to YOU is. 

What is our front page news today?

There's a guy-- There's a guy out there dressing up in his underwear-- running around town calling himself a Spider-Man! THAT is fantastic! THAT is what sells newspapers. I WANT to know his name, I WANT to know his birth sign.