Horror Shop Radio Season 2 Narrative (Recurring)
Brayden ten Brink for SGT. ATTICUS BANNER aka "SARGE"
Loss Prevention Officer/Head of Store Security
Super official, yet completely ridiculous. Intimidating, gruff man with a military background. Speaks like a Drill Sgt. would. Takes his job way too seriously. Sits in his office all day while he watches the security cameras trying to catch shoplifters.
Sgt. First Class Atticus Riley Banner the Third, reporting for duty, SIR!!
(Speaking rapidly without missing a beat)
Yes SIR! I am highly skilled in hand to hand combat. I've destroyed entire villages of men, women, and children with various weapony in Zimbabwe, Iraq, Iran, Heran, Sheran, Theyran, and Idaho. I have killed 6,587 soldiers with my bare hands, to be exact, in Somalia, Istanbul, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Chechnya, and Gotham City. Batman ain't got shit on me...HOO-RAH! Oh yeah, and I've also eaten some of these casualties on missions that were compromised and survival was of the utmost significance. When I say eaten, I mean nothing was left to waste. Intestines, eyeballs, ground up bones, and ballsacks. The whole nine yards sir! All things considered, I feel this renders me more than qualified to seek out, apprehend, and viciously slaughter, sodomize, and devour any thief or individual who dares to loot any merchandise or property from this facility...SIR!!!
Thank you sir...I will await further instructions.
Love it!
Thanks man! lemme know if you want to hear more intimidating I felt like that may be the one thing thats missing lol