I absolutely love the first "get connected". That peeked my ears. There is something that I can't put my finger on right after when you start to list who to get connected too that I don't love. Maybe pacing/ inflection? I can't quite find the words, but it immediately gets better. Then the HUGE breath... we all heard it... moving on. My only other big thing would be the last pass on the phone number. it sounds like you loose your spot for a second and then try to cover it with the "Sales Voice" TM. All in all I think it's a good safe read with a few really good parts. Good job!

I totally agree with Nick on your opener there, that was immediately ear-catching, I'm not quite sure what in particular you did there, but for this script that feels like an ad, that was a perfect way to open it. You definitely could use practicing your breath management though, not just because of the giant breath in the middle, but also that after the giant breath you sounded like you were trying to get through the rest of the script on that one breath. Your beginning was great, both in voice and inflections, but your management is a little hard to get past. Try practicing scripts and focusing on your breath management, figuring out where you can take a breath to both sound natural and keep you from running out, or getting close to running out, cause both are something the listener can hear. It's not too difficult to fix though,, just needs some practice till it turns into habit to search those breath points. You also really pulled off that warm tone you set out for very well, it was very pleasant to listen to! Nice job!

You have a beautiful tone overall. You started off really strong, and then we can hear you questioning yourself as the scene grew. There is a bit of COMMMERCIAL read in here and while you would think that is what this would call for, I want you to fight the READY sound. Always try to have a real conversation vs being the voice of the commercial. Loved your opening just the later part of this seemed to feel insecure and purposeful. Keep working on it. You have a nice natural tone for this industry. Friendly, happy, clear and youthful.....so lets keep working on pulling out your strengths and teaching you how to address copy like this. Good stuff