[Excited and snarky] 

"Oh, wait, you don’t know what OCTs are? Well well well! OCTs-- or “Original Character Tournaments” if you don’t like saving your stanky breath-- is a tournament for artists who hate themselves to give up a year or more of their life doing nothing but drawing and crying! Some even animate! Now that’s a level of self-abhorring we can all aspire to! What are OCTs and why are they so pain-staking, you ask? Well sack-up honky tonk, I’m about to learn ya!"

[Excited until a flat tone begins with the "They didn't" line]

"OCLs-- or Original Character Leagues-- not to be confused with OTL, though that IS a mood-- were a varied version of the ancient FCFS OC Tournament format. In this case, the competition never ended! Non-elimination was the name of the game for OCLs! Why? Because some people just can’t get enough suffering! This ride never ends!! How did OCLs determine a winner? They didn’t. Get out of here. Who let you in here. You want a winner? No! Bad! Go on, shoo!"

[befuddled and then frantic]

"Wait. Hold on. You want to ENTER an OCT? … You’re serious. Huh. After all that you still… Okay! Dang, christ-- hold on... L-let me get my papers-- ack I didn’t expect you to want to--"