Great self assess writeup! Love the power and intensity. Way to take your moments to breaths. I think mostly the issue is the repeating delivery style/cadence line after line. Hard for anything to sand out. What matters? Whats even better? How might it change in inflection and emphases IRL? These ways you might break out of repeating the same delivery so that it can feel like it's changing/growing so that it keeps the engagement up. Some good skills still showcased here.