Fun opening, and great setup of the energy and intrigue. Like your self assess. Some great energy and hit the 30s mark so I'd agree that with a few more runs, it might even be a benefit to consider breathing off the line/words, and attacking each line separately knowing that in the final edit all that could be removed and leave clean delivery with no pauses needed for breath etc. The downward inflection and vocal fry low end hurts your engagement and momentum at the beginning but it gets better as it goes with more variance and organic excitement helping to sell your case. Well done.