- Combat -
SPLINTER:  (attack)  Suck my dick!
SPLINTER: (crippled)  Ow ow ow ow!
SPLINTER:  (hit)  Agh!
SPLINTER:  (normal to combat)  You will suffer greatly!

- Splinter tells her story -

SPLINTER:  Well, I was raised in Lake Havasu City.  Have you been?  Don't go unless you like kissing ass.  Anyway, had it good for awhile in the Royal Sniper's Guild, poppin' mirelurks and raiders off of London Bridge for Sovereign Queen Lizard-Butt III.  The Lizard-Butts have held the bridge for generations, by divine right, according to them.

SPLINTER: One night at the Book and Bind--it's like a bar but they called it a Public House--I was overheard making a rude comment about Her Majesty.

PLAYER:  Mm-hm.

SPLINTER:  Her Majesty didn't approve of my comment, the gist of which involved a comparison of her face to a gecko's puckered anus.  So she spun the Wheel.  It's a big wheel with a variety of horrible punishments written on it and wherever it stops, that's what they do to you.

SPLINTER:  So halfway through sleeping off my festivities, I was rudely awoken by her guards who blindfolded and tied me up onto the back of a brahmin, which they sent off in a random, wheel-decided direction, in which I would soon expire due to... whatever calamity.  Back then I used to always keep a small blade in my mouth, for emergencies such as this.  The guards' search wasn't thorough enough to find it.

PLAYER:  Dang!  How'd you get out of that pickle?

SPLINTER: I managed to saw out of my bindings and escape, after I stopped hearing them and thought they wouldn't be able to see me anymore. I figured I'd take the scenic route to Vegas. But I saw only wastes and threat. Stopped to pick over a gas station on I-40. Found a little wine and got a little sleepy. Slaver gang swept me up. Took me to Hollow Hills. Used me for awhile... I got picked out by a special customer for delivery to Cottonwood Cove.

PLAYER:  Oh no.

SPLINTER:  Slaver that was supposed to deliver me, was James.  Halfway to Cottonwood, he told me he was quittin', and I was free.  I told him I liked his style.  We haven't been apart since.

***When you reveal that it “was James,” I want to feel the warm fuzzies.  You should physically smile here.
***A brahmin is like a cow.