The Roommate's Guide to Tinder
LordSteve for Sam
Sam is Confident, cocky, optimistic and a bit unrealistic. He's a loyal friend and always helps where he can, but his guidance tends to be less helpful than he thinks
[reading a text message, read as if he's seeing it for the first time] "hey daddy, how big is your-" Woah! Okay, yeah. I think she's into you
(frustrated) Ugh-dude! You probably just ruined your chances with her, She thinks you're boring now! Average is boring, so average people have boring dicks! You just told her your dick is boring!
(triumphant, he's trying to inspire a character) Cody, isn't that a risk worth taking? Isn't that why you're on tinder? To meet women? To Cha-Cha real smooth with them? This is what you wanted, she's hot and she's into you, man! Are we really the kind of guys to go against the intentions of the universe and be stricken down by the thunderous will of horny tinder girls!?
