(Soft and caring) As your friend, and roommate… I don't think he's a good fit for you, and I feel you can do better than that absolute dumpster fire.

I thought you were burning your hair again… on your curling iron. So I came downstairs to record you on my phone and post it. But now I'm just disappointed, and my day can't get any worse. Yes I understand it is only eight in the morning. What's your point?

(Angry) Emily, for the last time Don Draper isn't real!