Court-appointed attorney coming through, gentlemen!

A pleasure.

Oh you poor, traumatized child! You've been through so much.

No one's going to hurt you anymore, son. 

Well there's no point in our filing for an appeal now, I suppose.

No judge worth their salt would ever grant you one.

"The man in red," he says.

Few people witness the Wretched Egg in action and live to tell about it.
You're extremely fortunate. Unless... you're not.

There are two choices before you right now, boy:
Get kicked into the dirt and perish... or become my shiny new plaything.