Pvt Torkelson: "Private Torkelson reporting for duty, SIR!!!"

player: "I'm not an officer."

Pvt Torkelson: "Yes..well..anyway, what can I do you for?"

player: "Anything strange going on?"

Pvt Torkelson: "Other than this mod? Did you hear that Private Kerlin's gone missing? They say I'm unstable, but I'm gonna get to the bottom of this. Oh, yes. I'm gonna find out exactly what happened."

player: "Were you close to Private Kerlin?"

Pvt Torkelson: "Uhh, you could say that."

player: "I see."

Pvt Torkelson: "What is it you want to know?"

player: "Someone in this camp is a spy for a psychotic criminal."

Pvt Torkelson: "I KNEW IT!!!! I bet it's Murch. He's got shifty eyes, that one does."

player: "I see this has been a waste of time. We're done here."

Pvt Torkelson: "Stay frosty."